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DEMOCRAT -- You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You contribute to programs for the poor.
REPUBLICAN -- You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So??! You go to church and pray for him.
SOCIALIST -- You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. The cow gives only sour milk.
CAPITALIST INVESTOR -- You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. Due to oversupply, the price of milk plummets. You have to sell the cows at a loss and are bankrupted.
AMERICAN AG CORP -- You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATE FARM -- You have millions of cows. Most are illegals. Ahnuld likes the ones with big udders, so he lets them stay.
FRENCH FARMER -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three. Your cows go on strike too. They demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN FARMER -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN FARMER -- You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. Now you count seven cows. You drink more vodka because nobody will milk them for you.
POLISH COOPERATIVE FARM -- You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
SLOVAK DAIRY FARM -- You have two cows. You don’t bother pulling their teats. Instead, you yell at them to give milk. When they don’t, you yell louder. When that doesn’t work, you leave the barn madder than hell. The cows die of starvation.
TALIBAN FARM COOP -- You have both of the cows in Afghanistan. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons to fight US troops.